Today is February 2, 2011, Groundhog's Day. And the 22nd anniversary of my dad's death. His name was John Dillard "J.D." King III.
I'm certainly sad about this, but the sadness is more of what I would call an 'old sadness,' not one that truly affects me day-to-day. At least not consciously. In fact, most of my memories from childhood are very sunny and warm, like an old photograph. Still, there's a nostalgic sense of sorrow mixed with sweetness whenever I reflect on these periods. So in that way, I am definitely a sentimental person, but quite optimistic, interestingly. 'Old sadness' is kind of a theme of a song I just wrote and recorded as part of a week-long songwriting/recording challenge called Record Time VI (check out the blog here).
While the song isn't specifically about my dad, I incorporated many of the ideas I mentioned above in both the song and the artwork (which is of me and my brother as kids, taken by my father) without really meaning to. It's appropriate that it worked out to be done on Feb 2. Could it be... SATAN?! (A little Church Lady reference for you old SNL fans.) Ha! Actually, quite the contrary: I think God has beautiful and unexpected ways of reminding me He loves me.
Anyway, here's the song. Enjoy!
And here's the lyrics.
CAMERON KING"ALL WE SOLDIERS"© 2011I wonder how far I’ll get walking backwards
I wonder if I care if I’m getting anywhere
Looking back there, everything’s yellow
And looking ahead, it seems the color’s left the air
Walking time in a straight line, so
Part of me is still behind me
Memories and dreams hang around like phantoms
A flash of your eyes, and in the night I hear you call
A moment we shared and you have both gone
So can I be sure that it ever happened at all?
Who I am and who I was, see
One of us is surely dying
Earth is spinning, stars are singing
We’re all waiting while we’re fading
These old days, they’re growing hazy
We’re still fighting, hoping brightly
All we soldiers
Marching onward
Towing all our dreams behind us
They define us
As they blind us
All we soldiers
Marching onward
Holding tightly to what’s rightly ours
Towing all our dreams behind us
They define us
As they blind us
Can’t rewind us
6 comments:
I remember talking to you about how dreams and memories start to feel the same after a long time; and then when the one you shared the memory with is gone- who can be sure which is which? You captured all of that very poignantly in verse 2. I love you so much, Cam. Mom
Thanks, Mom. You've always been an inspiration to me. I like when people can peer into the past and into tragedy with tears in their eyes but a desire to redeem it all rather than let it strap them down. You've always been that way.
love the song! trying to figure out how to follow ur blog, but it's buttonless!
I LOVE IT! Blahhhhh. Great song, great recording. Thanks for Sharing Cam. I'm hoping to have some of my stuff up in the next few months on my blog too :)
Hi Chelsy! I added a Google Friend Connect button in the upper right of the blog, as well as an RSS feed subscribe button, and I'll be adding a couple others shortly!
JESS, love you! Thanks! CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR YOUR STUFF! I still listen to those little recordings you gave me from school :-)
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